Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
