Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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