best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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