I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
