Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
