Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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