Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
