Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
