when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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