Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
