You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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