i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
