i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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