What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
