I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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