So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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