I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Everyone says I win the strip club
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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