Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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