There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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