Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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