Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
