Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Holy sore nipples Batman
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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