no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He better not be in your backpack
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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