I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its about making memories worth repressing
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
smell my finger.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
