haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
