i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
