Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
