I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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