Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
do herpes really smell.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
