There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He did a backflip because drugs
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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