perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
