i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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