Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
