you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
