I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
