we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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