all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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