She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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