remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jerry, you need to find god
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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