ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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