Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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