talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
