flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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