People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
