so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
