eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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