wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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