One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
i think my cat just said my name.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
