he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
