I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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