I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
