my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
