how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
