i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
